Posted by Carrie Keplinger
The following is an excerpt from a Resources article by Megan Eckman
Even before you begin producing your new product line, you’ll want to be sure you put some time into crafting a truly unsuccessful launch. After all, if you’re going to spend the next month working on a killer product, you want to be sure it flops. Follow these steps to ensure your launch goes nowhere.
• Don’t schedule your launch. This will make things so much simpler because you won’t have to follow deadlines and no one will know when you’ll actually release your product. Customers hate to be kept guessing so take your time. Heck, you could even wait until next year.
• Don’t write about it on your blog. Seeing in-progress shots and getting little hints about something new only makes customers anxious to buy, which equals a failure for you. Keep their interest to the bare minimum, right around the level of watching dust land.
• Don’t contact high-up, target market blogs weeks beforehand to see if you can land a guest post or feature. After all, that coverage would lead to sales and you want to flop, not succeed. Plus, writing for other blogs takes time and energy and guts, all of which you don’t possess.
• Don’t come up with a catchy name for the product line. Go for forgetful or just don’t name it at all. People can’t buy what they can’t recall later. Do you remember ‘Pizza My Dear’? Neither do I and that’s because they ran the best unsuccessful launch in years.
• Do buy the ugliest packaging you can find. Just in case someone defies your intent and actually buys something, you want to make sure they don’t do it again. I suggest dirty newspapers and used Walmart bags. For added fragrance, you can always throw in a few cigarette butts.
Want more of Megan's tongue-in-cheek advice? Click here to read her full article!
photo: “Cute Alliums” T-shirt by Ex-Boyfriend: clothing that starts conversations
Megan Eckman is an illustrator and freelance writer living in San Jose, CA. She creates quirky pen and ink illustrations and writes for national magazines, including Backpacker and Renaissance. Visit her website, StudioMME, to delve into her world!
